09 November 2019

Let's make a Cooziecage™

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For about a year now, a few friends and I have been beta-testing several different iterations of the Cooziecage™, an on-bike beer-transport system that I'm pretty sure I invented.  

Based on our extensive research, I can report: so far, so good. We have enjoyed many a lovely bevvie together whilst sitting atop big rocks, blown-down trees, in grassy meadows, and on snow-covered stumps way out in the woods.   Turns out, this is a thing almost everyone likes to do.  

I sincerely hope the totally free, public domain, how-to-make-a-Cooziecage instructions below make this crazy world we live in a slightly better place, one bike ride and one beer at a time.

乾杯!




Thanks, Cooziecage
I like beer!  Do you like beer?  I think bikes and beers go well together.

If you do too, you should make a Cooziecage™ to take a beer with you on your next ride! Why wait until your ride is over to enjoy a lovely beverage? With a Cooziecage™ attached to your bike you'll be able to conveniently crack open one of your favorite brewskis the next time you get to the top of your route.  Just imagine how refreshing that will be!

DISCLAIMER: If you choose to use a Cooziecage™ to drink-and-ride, please do so responsibly.

What you'll need:

TIME:

  • approximately 5-10 minutes
PARTS:
  • One (1) plastic Cateye BC100 bottlecage. NOTE: Cateye BC100 cages are no longer being manufactured, so if you don't have an old one in your parts stash, you can always find them on eBay. WARNING: Other models/brands of vintage plastic bottlecages may fail to optimally retain beer at-speed and should be used only at your own risk
  • One (1) neoprene coozie of your choice
  • A couple (2) washers
  • Two (2) small rivets
  • One (1) beer of your choice
TOOLS:
  • A drill
  • A Sharpie pen
  • A hole-punch
  • A small sharp pokey thing

Step 1:

Put the coozie in the cage and mark the bolt holes.


Step 2:

Use the hole punch to open the neoprene enough that you can get a bolt through each hole.  You need not remove the entire punch.

Step 3:
Put the coozie into the cage along with the washers and the bolts and install on the seat-tube of your bike. Don't forget to regrease your threads!

Step 4:
With your drill and a small bit, make two holes, one on each side of the cage, near the corners of the top rim.  The hole should be just big enough to allow your un-popped rivet to fit through snugly.

Step 5:
Stick your sharp pokey thing through each hole and then through the neoprene.

Step 6:
Install a small rivet through each hole in the neoprene and the cage so the flat side of the rivet faces in and pop it permanently into place with your gun.

Step 7:
Insert one (1) standard 12-ounce beer of your choice into your brand-new, hand-made Cooziecage™ and go ride and drink a beer! WARNING: Your beer may very likely be a little bit to quite a lot or even very very shook-up when you open it, depending on what sort of ride you've taken it on.  Be advised!  Similarly, if you've been riding in muddy or dusty conditions, you may find that your beer is covered in such materials, flotsam, jetsam, and the like, as you've encountered during your ride.  Some Cooziecage™ users prefer to all their beer to self-clean if this is the case, by opening it quickly and blowing off the ensuing head.  Others choose to initially insert the beer upside-down for transport, thereby keeping the top cleaner by shielding it within the Cooziecage™ itself.  Up to you. There's no wrong way to use your new Cooziecage™.  The point is to use it.

Step 8:
When you're done, don't crush your empty can!  Simply reinsert it into your Cooziecage™, haul it out and recycle it at home.

Cooziecage™ Stats:
As-built weight: about 42 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard 12-ounce can of lager-type beer: about 382 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard empty aluminum can: about 56 grams

*Please note: The Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 license applies to these instructions.