09 November 2019

Let's make a Cooziecage™

For about a year now, a few friends of mine and I have been beta-testing several different iterations of the Cooziecage™, an on-bike beer-transport system that I'm pretty sure I invented.  Based on our extensive research, I can report: so far, so good.  We have enjoyed many a lovely bevvie together whilst sitting atop big rocks, blown-down trees, and in grassy meadows way out in the woods, which, it turns out, is a thing almost everyone likes to do.  

I hope the totally free, completely public domain, too-darn-simple how-to instructions below make this crazy world we live in a slightly better place, one bike and one beer at a time.

乾杯!



Everyone knows: bikes and beers go really well together.

But rather than wait until your bike ride is over to enjoy a lovely beverage, now you can use a Cooziecage™ to take a beer with you on your next ride!

With your new Cooziecage™ attached to the seat-tube of your bike, the next time you get to the top of your route, you'll be able to find a spot in the sun (or the shade, or the snow, as the case may be), and conveniently crack open one of your favorite brewskis.  Just imagine. So refreshing!

Below is a quick set of instructions to help you make your very own personalized, full-custom, open-source*, rigorously designed and tested to safely and securely haul one beer anywhere your bike goes (and haul your empty can home again), Cooziecage™.

DISCLAIMER: If you choose to use a Cooziecage™ to drink-and-ride, please do so responsibly.

What you'll need:
PARTS:
  • One (1) plastic Cateye BC100 bottlecage. NOTE: Cateye BC100 cages are no longer being manufactured, so if you don't have an old one in your parts stash, you can always find them on eBay. Other models/brands of plastic bottlecages should be used only at your own risk.
  • One (1) neoprene coozie of your choice
  • A couple (2) washers
  • Two (2) small rivets
  • One (1) beer of your choice
TOOLS:
  • A drill
  • A Sharpie pen
  • A hole-punch
  • A small sharp pokey thing
Step 1:
Put the coozie in the cage and mark the bolt holes.
Click any image to embiggen

Step 2:
Use the hole punch to open the neoprene enough that you can get a bolt through each hole.  You need not remove the entire punch.

Step 3:
Put the coozie into the cage along with the washers and the bolts and install on the seat-tube of your bike. Don't forget to regrease your threads!

Step 4:
With your drill and a small bit, make two holes, one on each side of the cage, near the corners of the top rim.  The hole should be just big enough to allow your un-popped rivet to fit through snugly.

Step 5:
Stick your sharp pokey thing through each hole and then through the neoprene.

Step 6:
Install a small rivet through each hole in the neoprene and the cage so the flat side of the rivet faces in and pop it permanently into place with your gun.

Step 7:
Insert one beer into your brand-new, hand-made Cooziecage™ and go ride and drink a beer! WARNING: Your beer may very likely be a little bit to quite a lot or even very very shook-up when you open it, depending on what sort of ride you've taken it on.  Be advised.  Similarly, if you've been riding in muddy or dusty conditions, you may find that your beer is covered in such materials, flotsam, jetsam, and the like, as you've encountered during your ride.  Some Cooziecage™ users prefer to self-clean their beer, if this is the case, by opening it quickly and blowing the ensuing head off.  Others, germaphobes and neat-freaks mostly, choose to initially insert the beer upside-down for transport, thereby keeping the top clean by shielding it within the Cooziecage™ itself. Up to you. There's no wrong way to use your new Cooziecage™.  The point is to use it.

Step 8:
When you're done, don't crush your empty can!  Simply reinsert it into your Cooziecage™, haul it out and recycle it at home.

*Please note: The Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 license applies to these instructions.

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