09 November 2019

Let's make a Cooziecage™


The Cooziecage™ is an on-bike beer-transport system.  I'm pretty sure I invented it. 

Follow these instructions to make your own Cooziecage™. Afterwards, I hope you enjoy many a lovely bevvie whilst sitting atop big rocks, or blown-down trees, or in grassy meadows, or on snow-covered stumps out in the woods.   In my experience, I have found these are things almost everyone likes to do.  

I hope these free instructions make all your rides more enjoyable, and this crazy world we live in a little bit better, too, one bike and one beer at a time.

乾杯!




Thanks, Cooziecage
I like beer!  And I think bikes and beer go well together.

If you do too, you should make a Cooziecage™ so you can conveniently take a beer with you on your next ride! Tired of waiting until your ride is over to enjoy a lovely beverage? With a Cooziecage™ attached to your bike you'll be able to crack open one of your favorite brewskis the next time you get to the top of your ride.  

Just imagine how refreshing that will be!

DISCLAIMER: If you choose to use a Cooziecage™ to drink-and-ride, please do so responsibly. Duh.

What you'll need:

TIME:

  • approximately 5-10 minutes
PARTS:
  • One (1) plastic Cateye BC100 bottlecage. NOTE: Cateye BC100 cages are no longer being manufactured, so if you don't have an old one in your parts stash, you can always find them on eBay. WARNING: Other models/brands of plastic bottlecages have not been adequately tested and may fail to optimally retain beer at-speed. Use at your own risk
  • One (1) neoprene beer-coozie of your choice
  • A couple (2) small washers
  • Two (2) small pop-rivets
  • One (1) beer of your choice
TOOLS:
  • A drill
  • A Sharpie
  • A hole-punch
  • A small sharp pokey thing

Step 1:

Slip the coozie into the BC100 cage and mark the bolt holes with a pen.
Select images to enlarge

Step 2:

Use the hole punch to open the neoprene enough that you can get a bolt through each hole.  You need not remove the entire punch.

Step 3:
Put the coozie into the cage along with the washers and the bolts and install on the seat-tube of your bike. Pro-tip: regrease your threads!

Step 4:
With your drill and a small bit, make two holes, one on each side of the cage, near the corners of the top rim.  The hole should be just big enough to allow your un-popped rivet to fit through snugly.

Step 5:
Stick your sharp pokey thing through each hole and then through the neoprene.

Step 6:
Install a small rivet through each hole in the neoprene and the cage so the flat side of the rivet faces in. Pop it permanently into place with your gun.

Step 7:
Insert one (1) standard 12-ounce beer of your choice into your brand-new, hand-made Cooziecage™ and go ride. Sit down and drink a beer when you get to the top. Think about life. Laugh with your friends. Ride like the wind on the way down! 

WARNING:
Your beer may very likely be a little bit to quite a lot or even very very shook-up when you open it, depending on what sort of ride you've taken it on.  Be advised! 

Likewise, if you've been riding in muddy, dusty, snowy or wet conditions, you may find that your beer is covered in all sorts of gunk that you've encountered during your ride. Some Cooziecage™ users prefer to allow their beer to self-clean if this is the case, simply by opening it quickly and vigorously blowing off the erupting foamy head along with all the flotsam it's collected.  Other users elect at the start of their ride to insert the beer upside-down for transport, thereby keeping the top of the can clean by shielding it within the Cooziecage™ itself.  Up to you.

There's really no wrong way to use your new Cooziecage™, except to ride with it empty.  The point is to use it.

Step 8:
When you're done with your beer, don't crush your empty can!  Simply reinsert it into your Cooziecage™, transport it out the way it came in and recycle it at home.

Quick Cooziecage™ Stats:
As-built weight: about 42 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard 12-ounce can of lager-type beer: about 382 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard empty aluminum can: about 56 grams

*Please note: The Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 license applies to these instructions.

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May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. -- Ed Abbey