09 November 2019

Let's build a Cooziecage™

The Cooziecage™ is an on-bike beer-transport system.  

I'm pretty sure I invented it. 

Follow the instructions below to make your own Cooziecage™. Afterwards, I hope you enjoy many a lovely bevvie whilst sitting atop big rocks, or blown-down trees, or in grassy meadows, or on snow-covered stumps out in the woods.   

In my experience, these are things almost everyone likes to do.  

I hope these free instructions* help to make all your rides more enjoyable, and this crazy world we live in a little bit better, too, one beer and one bike ride at a time.

I like beer!  I like bikes!  I think bikes and beer go well together.
Thanks, Cooziecage

If you do too, why not build a Cooziecage™ and conveniently take a beer with you on your next ride. 

Hell, you should take one on every ride! 

Tired of waiting until your ride is over to enjoy a lovely beverage? With a Cooziecage™ attached to your bike you'll be able to crack open one of your favorites the next time, and every time, you get to the top of your ride.  

Just imagine how refreshing that will be!

DISCLAIMER: If you choose to use a Cooziecage™ to drink-and-ride, please do so responsibly. 

What you'll need:


  • approximately 5-10 minutes
  • One (1) plastic Cateye BC100 bottlecage. NOTE: Cateye BC100 cages are no longer being manufactured. If you don't have an old one in your parts stash, you can still find them new on eBay and Amazon
  • One (1) neoprene beer-coozie of your choice
  • A couple (2) small washers
  • Two (2) small pop-rivets
  • One (1) beer of your choice
  • A drill
  • A Sharpie
  • A hole-punch
  • A small sharp pokey thing

Step 1:

Slip the coozie into the BC100 cage and mark the bolt holes with a pen.

Select images to enlarge

Step 2:

Use the hole punch to open the neoprene enough that you can get a bolt through each hole.  You need not remove the entire punch.

Step 3:
Put the coozie into the cage along with the washers and the bolts and install on the seat-tube of your bike. Pro-tip: regrease your threads!

Step 4:
With your drill and a small bit, make two holes, one on each side of the cage, near the corners of the top rim.  The hole should be just big enough to allow your un-popped rivet to fit through snugly.

Step 5:
Stick your sharp pokey thing through each hole and then through the neoprene.

Step 6:
Install a small rivet through each hole in the neoprene and the cage so the flat side of the rivet faces in. Pop it permanently into place with your gun.

Step 7:
Insert one (1) standard 12-ounce beer of your choice into your brand-new, hand-made Cooziecage™ and go ride. Sit down and drink a beer when you get to the top. Think about life. Laugh with your friends. Ride like the wind on the way down! WARNING: Depending on where and how your ride has taken you, your beer may be a little bit to quite a lot or even very very shook-up when you open it.

Step 8 (optional):
If you wish to guarantee retention of your beer on a long up-and-down ride, consider installing a Rimjob Safety Belt™ on your Cooziecage™ by trimming a 10mm section out of 26" butyl inner-tube and deploying it around the top rim of your beer and the plastic neck of the Cooziecage™. This simple security device has been thoroughly tested on Sedona's never-straight, never-flat trails and has proven effective against the rare but nonetheless devastating condition known to Cooziecage™ beta-testers as premature ejection.

ONE MORE WARNING: If you ride through muddy, dusty, snowy, or wet conditions on your way to your favorite drinkin' spot, you may find your beer covered in all sorts of the gunk that you encountered during your ride. Some Cooziecage™ users allow their beer to self-clean when this happens by opening the fliptop and vigorously blowing off the erupting foamy head along with all the flotsam it's collected.  

Other smarty-pants Cooziecage™ users elect to insert the beer upside-down for transport, thereby keeping the top of the can clean by shielding it within the Cooziecage™ itself.  Up to you; depends on the IQ of your slacks, I suppose.

Final Step:
When you're done with your beer, don't crush your empty can!  Simply reinsert back it into your Cooziecage™ and transport it out the way it came in. Be sure to recycle it when you get home.

Quick Cooziecage™ Stats:
As-built weight: about 42 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard 12-ounce can of lager-type beer: about 382 grams
Weight when loaded with one (1) standard empty aluminum can: about 56 grams

Many of my bikes sport a Cooziecage™ these days


Anonymous said...

A MTB isn't complete for me until a beer is had. This looks like a great way to complete a ride on the trail!

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May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. -- Ed Abbey